Bill Gates Leaves Microsoft to Explore Career Options
Although his resignation from Microsoft has been rumored for some time, Bill Gates computing days may have come to an end, at least within in the Microsoft machine. The speculation suggesting that Bill may be ready to jump the Microsoft ship begs the question: what will he do afterwards?
Working with the company for over two decades has turned Gates into a biz wiz. With the opportunity for Gates to tackle a new industry, a number of alternative occupations could benefit from Gates techno-business traits. A quick peak at his biography provides some interesting indications of Bill’s future workplace plans. Take a peak at his next likely endeavors:
Bill has experience with fast machines – and not just the ones filled with 1’s and 0’s. In 1977 he was briefly jailed for street racing a Porsche 911. Speeding his way to the head of the information superhighway may indicate that Bill’s real passion lies on the road. Hopefully Gates driving is more crash-resistant than his operating systems.
Spokesman of Programmers Anonymous
Bill has been hooked on digital drugs since the age of 13, and has developed from an analog addicted techno-teen to a fully developed adult digital dependent. Gates first indulged during the birth of Microsoft when he became preoccupied with programming a mainframe owned by a local company. Techno-tendencies like computer addiction, Internet Addictive Disorder and Cyberaddiction are now well documented consequences of the computer age, and who better than Mr. Gates to lead a new generation of computer addicts into techno-treatment for their compu-cravings.
Apple Juice Producer
Bill’s cerebral programming includes a function designed to squish apples to an acidic pulp. This ability, developed after years of competing with Apple Computers, has provided Gates with the ideal skill-set for apple juice production. Tossing Bill in a tub o’ apples will have him stamping his way to happiness. As Bill’s already discovered, however, innovation-ripened apples tend to contain more than enough creative juices to eat through Microsoft’s advantage.
Professional Monopoly Player
Microsoft has a long history monopolizing markets by purchasing innovative companies with great ideas...then passing them off as Microsoft brain children. Gates has an unlimited supply of get out of jail free cards, it seems, when it comes to playing the computer biz monopoly game. If Gates wishes to be successful in this career, however, it may be best to buy out the other pro monopoly players rather than playing the game himself.
Philanthropic Gift Giver
Jokes aside, Gates has learned to give back by donating his funds to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. With the intent of fueling innovation in global learning and health care, Bill's parting with his dolla' billz for the good of social development. Gates has made almost 15 million in grant commitments so far, which amounts to the cost of buying 7 500 000 hotels for Boardwalk on Monopoly.
With all this talk of Bill moving on, one must not forget that he has tried to sever the Microsoft ties many times before, without success. Looking to entice Bill to join your workplace? Try leaving the keys in your Porsche 911 and Mr. Gates might pay you a visit.