Entertains staff with bossy mood swings or multiple personality disorders

Wisdom amplification device, tells staff what to do - with authority! For cheerleading and bellowing

Magical management stogie, lit with dollar bills and/ or submissions from the suggestion box

365 days packaged into one document, reports good numbers that went up or bad numbers that went down. If it's audited, it has to be true!

Management's early retirement plan, and the only legal way to print your own money

CELL PHONE

Wireless worker leash and constant communication channel; on evenings or weekends, reminds staff about report needed yesterday