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Alien Abduction Festival Guide (in Alienese)
Gooeede-a tu zee Eleeee Ebdoocshun Festifel... foo eleeens
Attention humans: the hu-man version of this guide is available here.
Zee ooffffeeciel Eleeee Ebdoocshun Festifel mep... su yuoo dun't get lust oon yuoor vey tu beeeng ebdoocted:
(nute-a: zee gooeede-a is beloo)
Feeoo Eleeee-seezed Mep
Step 1: Check yuoor celender/cluck. Is it noo Merch 20, 2008? Iff yes, pruceed tu step 2. Iff nu:
- beffure-a Merch 20, 2008? Iff yes, oonly a foo mure-a sleeps till zee eleeens erreefe-a... edd yuoorselff tu zee ooffffeeciel Fecebouk ifent pege-a,, und tell yuoor freeends thet zeey cun jueen in.
- effter Merch 20, 2008? Surry, IT hes phuned hume-a und zee eleeens hefe-a tempurereely retoorned tu zeeur hume-a plunets. Cunseeder eddeeng yuoorselff tu zee Heppy Vurker meeeling leest tu be-a infeeted tu footoore-a festifels oor oozeer foon ifents.
Step 2: Yey, zee Eleeee Ebdoocshun Festifel is here-a! Breeng yuoorselff und uny eleeee-freeendly freeends doon tu zee Qooeee & Bethoorst erea in Turuntu, OoN. Feel free-a tu breeng elung uny foonky creffts tu edd tu yuoor UFO oor eleeee creeting ixpereeence-a.
Du:
- be-a reedy tu eejuy und imbrece-a strungeness in ell its furms
- joomp in und creete-a foon vherefer yuoo gu!
- veer yuoor tin fueel het und oozeer ixtreterrestreeel gerb veet preede-a
- sooppurt zee Qooeee Street Fure-a Foond ieezeer by depuseeting ierthly furms ooff coorrency in epprupreeetely indeeceted cullecshun jers, und/oor by booyeeng boottuns und t-shurts
- spreed juy und heppeeness tu ell hoomuns und eleeens yuoo meet
Du nut:
- ebdooct unyune-a yuoorselff -- pleese-a leefe-a thees tu ieezeer oooor freeendly neeeghborhuud ITs oor treeened pruffesseeunels
- use-a yuoor rey goon oor neooreelze-a unyune-a
- cunsoome-a un inhoomun emuoont ooff Rumoolun Ele-a
Step 3: Check stumech. Hoongry? Iff su, greb sume-a ixtreterrestreeel iets. Iff nu, gu tu step 4
Step 4: Teke-a yuoor peeck ooff uny ooff zee eleeeny ifents.
Step 5: Repeet Step 4 until ooffffeeciel iert time-a reeches 11 PM.
Step 6: Effter 11 PM? Perheps yuoor breeen cells ere-a in need ooff foorzeer stimooleshun... mey ve-a sooggest un eleeee neeghtcep?
Step 7: Sleep vell, veet feesiuns ooff heppy eleeens und zeeur peupley freeends (yuoo?) dunceeng thruoogh yuoor heed... ZzZzZzzzz :)

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